Stuff

01.22.1998

I want to talk about stuff here. I think that I would mention things that happened to go into my head and out of my mouth but not necessarily due to the fact that this is coming at you from a screen of some sort. I was thinking about my emotions today. Just sort of happened, a little bit of loneliness. Somthing ephemeral... a little bit of tingling near the center of my body, most near my heart. It's odd, how you could feel and be emotion.

The little void, a missing, a lacking, like if only you had one thing that would make this feeling go away it would justify almost anything that you did. But things come up, like pride, like what would make this go away?, this little lock that needs a key. Sometimes I seem to enjoy just being alive and feeling things, the beauty of nature... How do you stand in a lake or near the edge of a cliff and feel the surrounding existence. I think that if you can think that thought then you would realize why I love to be outside all the time. In the winter it makes no difference, it's just a different mood, a different little something being said by those around me. (friggin... text editor is so damn slow)

Happiness seems to be my natural state. Or maybe I just hate being sad so much that I would rather be exuberant about life. I wonder about the justice of our "modern society." Just what do we want to accomplish with OUR future? I think if your interested in computers and freedom of information, freedom of speech, the ability to read interesting things just because you want to you should check out: www.2600.com

Social justice is something that we should all be interested in. Unfortunately I think I would make a great despot. I most definately believe that power corrupts and absolute power is just too much for me too handle. I can't really speak about the hardships of life. I don't think I've suffered all that much, nothing that every other kid hasn't gone through. And nowhere near what some others have gone through.

Blah, blah, blah... enough of this socialist crap. I still won't rock the boat enough to break free from the work hard at skule, get a good job so you can make some cash and live the good life. At least not in this present situation. If I had nothing to lose, I think I would be a good advocate of justice. Reincarnation as a well loved house cat would probably be the next best thing to being in heaven. Man, I'm jealous of some of those little pussy cats that I know.

It's kind of weird that I am so interested in protecting the rights of the ordinary person (me), and at the same time none of realize that is exactly why we are doing this. What is this DNA stuff? I'd say it's some crazy virus that just refuses to die. Watch "Ghost in the Shell" by "Masume Shirow." Wicked, unbelievable movie. I loved it. Self-preservation. Morals, honour, bullshit, what's the difference? I think it was summed up perfectly in a commercial by a bank once, "imagine if everyone did what they said they would do?" I can't. It would mean that I would have to do everything that I said. Laziness... ah, happy ignorant stupidity. How I wish I could welcome it at times. I refuse. I will remember that "MOTHER TERESA" only barely made the second page. I don't know her, nor do I claim to have followed her life, however I know enough that "Princess Diana" had a couple google people watch her funeral. You ever wonder how many people even noticed that Mother Teresa died? This world can have the phlegm from the bottom of my lung and I deserve it as well.


01.25.1998

I think I must have some sort of complex or the other. I am writing, what would roughly approximate my diary on my web-page. Is this a cry for help? Hahaha... I amuse myself sometimes.


02.21.1998

As I type this lying in my bed my mind is wandering... If you can follow that thought then I congratulate you on your excellent problem solving skills. I've just come back from a most interesting trip to New York. I'm also very sick (physically...). I feel a little high right now. I am so tired and my head is swimming so it is very hard to concentrate. I spent a whole day at the Metro in NYC. It was amazing, the musuem was so large and they had so many impressionist works. Seems like they weren't good enough for the Salon and then those silly old Americans just bought a whole bunch of 'em. I also managed to catch 'Cats' and 'The Scarlet Pimpernel' both very interesting shows. Cats was a classic that had to be watched. And the Scarlet Pimernel was a suprisingly entertaining romantic comedy. I seem to be finding some sort of inner peace but I'm still not doing my homework. I just can't make myself do my homework. Damn.

22.11.1999

Just a brief update... I've spent 9 days in the Rockies... we scrambled on Yamnuska. We hiked up Mount Robson and then the Skyline trails was still snowed in so we just car camped. Then I spent 7 weeks in Taiwan (it was my first time). I also spent 2 weeks in Hong Kong. Asia is a great place... so different. Of course I spent all 9 weeks in Asia with Josephine... my sweetheart. ;)
tangf@ecf.toronto.edu
Last update: 22.11.1999