PleaseWait: A Parody of the Time Thieves

Excerpt from Prof. Mann's Keynote Address at the Virtual Reality Conference in Rio de Janiero, June 1-6, 1998

Your organization's time is very important to me, so please wait for my next available moment!

I do not talk to strangers.

Therefore, you must slide a government-issued ID card through the slot on my head if you want to talk to me.

These SAFETY GLASSES prevent me from seeing or hearing you until you identify yourself! Until you provide positive ID, the camera and microphones on my head will not be connected to my head mounted display set.

Your time is very important to me, so please wait for my next available moment!


    If you would like to try to sell me a new product, press 1.
    
If you would like to ask me to fill out a form, press 2.
    
If you would like to show me an advertisement, press 3, and
        slide your credit card through my slot to purchase my attention.
    
If you would like to inform me that photography is not permitted on your
        premises, press 9, and wait for my next available moment.

For quality-control and training purposes, this conversation may be recorded or monitored. Your time is very important to me, so please wait, while I steal your time, your life, and your soul!

Contact: Professor Steve Mann at mann@eecg.toronto.edu